Dave's Back from the Land of Frogs snails and where the men have yet to discover deodorant!!!!

Yes indeed readers, I'm back from a holiday I was forced to go on. Well in true Dave style I'm going to have a little moan about my week. All started badly when me and my family purposely arrived 3 hours too early to the terminal in folkestone in hope of catching an earlier train to Calais. That it turned out was not possible without paying a large fee, so my Dad being the tightwad that he is declined and we were forced to wait in the terminal for 3 whole hours. The terminal for those who've never seen it consists of a meager amount of shops and a small food court, you seriously do not want to wait there for that amount of time.

Well soon we arrived in frogland and set of down the French motorway for 5 HOURS! I was entrusted with the responsibility of map reader that I found quite ridiculous considering I was hellbent on not going! Insulting almost, as if I owed the trip something, as if this was a privilege for me! How absurd. We also got lost twice thanks to poor directions given to us by the family we were going to meet there.

This family is the Family of my Dads best friend. It consists of my Dads best friend his Wife and their 3 children. 1 girl (17) 2 boys (13 and 10).
Most of the time I'm fine with them but their second born son, who's is near enough my brothers age, is a attention seeker of the highest degree and can turn most situations against me and cause me to fall into desperate depression if I spend too much time with him. (some may think I'm being harsh but I'm not! My dad says the same thing) The problem is he teams up with my brother to form an unbearable duo that is enough to send me into insanity. Add to the fact I was already depressed when we arrived at the house too so what chance did I have (which was infact better than I had First Imagined)

To sum up the rest of the trip we went Kyaking on Thursday (which turned out to be the highlight of the trip) and then relaxed on the beach for the rest of the day in which time I dug a massive hole (WHICH HAD TO BE FILLED INCASE SOME FOOL FELL IN IT! LET THEM FALL IN FOR ALL I CARE!).
On Friday We were going to go sand surfing but there wasn't enough wind so we went back to the same beach and sat there all Day. The next day I spent traveling and arrived back this morning.

So was it worth it I hear you ask...
well in a word no! It wasn't

Positives about the trip:
Digging huge holes
Good Food
Pond with Row boat in back garden
Good Weather (meh we could've had that here!)

Annoying company
French people
French language
Missing out on freedom back home
missing out on London back home
missing out on working on my super secret plan back home
The French countryside smells bad (I did actually drive through a town that smelled strongly of onions)
Long journey
Being forced to be the map reader
Having to sleep on the floor
having to endure my Dads snoring.
Waiting ages for service at a restaurant and being told its ok because that's their culture

Well what would you think eh.. If ye went on it.

See you later chums and chumettes reading this


Dave said…
Ah, we all like digging holes at the beach :)

But you had to fill it in! Those Frenchies should be looking where they're going!
Chard said…
ooh la la :D
Anonymous said…
by the way, a pikey is a gypsey who wanders the land in his caravan

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