Everthing is changing and I don't feel right

A slight adaptation on the Keane song there but I feel it rings some truth for todays serving.

Change has certainly been in the air of late and not always for the better. The first such issue is the NEW CAR OF THE JANI'S!!!
News of a new car normally bring happiness and Joy to all. Sadly in this case I'm left dumbfounded at the poor choice of my Dad who simply chose it for himself and didn't even make a democratic decision by consulting me and my brother. The Car in question is a Saab 95 Convertable.
Now for some this would be a dream come true but I disagree.

Problem 1. Its a convertable: This is an odd thing to prod with critism but for me it spells a self induced nightmare. I'm very conscious of when I'm being listened too and I think nothing spells a lack of privacy than driving around with no roof! It doesn't help also if you're Dad has a bizarre and sometimes rather embarrassing taste in music which he likes to play very loudly. Not only that but its more likly to be stolen.

Problem 2. Its only got two doors: Now I'm probably not the only one who doesn't like the annoying experience of having to move out of you're comfy chair in the passenger seat to make way for someone to try to squeeze through the limited door space. The thought of having to do it regularly fills me with great annoyance! Especially if you were to consider if I were to give a lift to a friend or something.

Problem 3. ITS GREY!!!! Grey is one of the most boring colours in the world and my fool of a Dad has gone and chosen GREY!

Phew that was a long moan.
Changes though have come in other forms though. Fiona has left our school! She's defected to the girls school next door! Now I'm probably not alone in thinking that this is quite rash. Especially if you consider she also is now going to have to repeat year 12! All because of Tom apparently which I also think is a bit much. Tom may be clingy and a tad overbearing towards her but I don't think she should make him a scapegoat for all the problems of late (the same counts for Tom too who really should get a grip!)

Other changes! well well errrrrrr Supposedly Mr Robinson has dies (unconfirmed) I successfully, with the help of John, prevented chavs from overrunning the Psythian centre, not much else that I can think of at this point, but the other two are such big changes I think they deserve some attention.

And now for something completly different:
Mens magazines are really stupid sometimes. Now I read quite a few of these so called "mens mens" magazines like FHM, NUTS etc. I can't say I don't enjoy them. I love massive Mammeries as much as the next man or maleshe. What I don't like is some of the other aspects of it. The first of which being the heavy focus on Football. They go on about it as if its some noble sport of kings thats a privalage for everyman on the planet. Well last time I checked I'm a man and all I can say is I don't particually like Football.

What is it but 11 men kicking a ball around a pitch in shorts!? It's also not just the fact its a boring game but the fact its coupled with idiots who go to Football matches religiously and make sure to beat up someone in the other teams fanbase (now to be fair this is a minority but its still a good point). Footballers are also terrible role models for children, who tend to generally love football. Now lets take for example Wayne Rooney. He is a superb Player with the world at his feet and what does he do? Swears at the ref on a regular basis (he's only doing his job) and punches people in nightclubs. Now sorry if I don't buy into that whole culture!

Anyway back to the point. Another thing I recently noticed in these magazines is a rather crude view on the fact we have an election soon, For it they have created a rather stupid poster for people to put up to scare of canvassers; to quote it says "NO CANDIDATES!
  • Can you see to it that the bar made fancies me?
  • Can you promise my team will win on Saturdays?
  • Can you make all Beer free?
If the answer to the above is no then please be so kind as to leave me to my PS2/TV/Girlfriend"
Now I have no problem with the free beer but what wrong with just telling the candidates to FECK OFF! If they bother you then why would they expect you to vote for them if they're going to be nothing but a nuisence. Aside from that they aren't too bad aside from the fact they seem to make so many lame naked/breast/women jokes which do get a tad tiresome.
Overall I find a mans man really annoying. They never shut up about Football, They are normally hockey boys so are twats to people like me who don't really bother them but they taunt us!, They have curvatious girlfriends despite the fact they are Twats! (read most chavs)
Whats a guy like me to do! (read not particually unattractive rather quiet and intelligent although never really satisfied with anything)
Peace out!

Comments

Sarah Davis said…
I supose the car does have some annoying qualties, but its a convertable, you can cruz along the road with the wind in your hair and...do other stuff :D
Chard said…
Like Penelope Cruz?

Or... Tom Cruise <-- Correct!

-

A mans man - twat

A Kick Ass Man - Malyszko

Which would you rather be? :P
Dave said…
A fine rant again Dave. The car's not that bad, there's many which are much, much worse.
Jon said…
Nice car :D

I don't see what's so great about football either, it's just the same thing all over again every year.
Dan said…
I'm Sorry. I have to say this:

It's a Saab 93 Convertible, not 95. Other than that minor error, a fine rant there
Lewis said…
"ITS GREY!!!! Grey is one of the most boring colours in the world"
A-hem.
I truly hope you die, thus preventing any more poor souls such as myself from stumbling across this blog about your sorry excuse for a life.

Oh and before I depart, Dan you can fuck off and all.
Dave said…
I admit that my life isnt particualarly significant in the grand sceme of things but for gods sake what is your fucking problem! the problem with my life is that i have to deal with wankers such as yourself! Get a life before you critise mine!!!
Dave said…
Ah, the chav(s) has/have returned once more. Roaming the blogosphere to leave insulting comments on peoples' blogs. A fine life they have.
Chard said…
Rat poison? Could you do us a favour and bite your nails?
RAT POISON said…
I'll have to level with ya, as you're gettin quite upset, i don't actually know ya, my mate goes to your school, (some fagotty school down in Kent right?) and he sent me the link for a bit of a giggle, it was and i thought i would play you to get a reaction, it worked though like takin candy from a baby! In conclusion I would like to apologise for any distress i have caused. P.s i think you should consider som way of enhancin your life, but you have made me feel great about mine. That's the last you will hear from me on that one.

Have a nice life.
Chard said…
Can we see your blog?

It might be fun inflicting the same shit on you for a while.
Dan said…
I would also like to say that you will never get a reaction from my good self, as i will not stoop as low as you scum. Good Day.
Dan said…
oh, and Benny Blaco (too afraid to use your real name, coward), i belive you will fuck off before i do.
Dave said…
Well to be honest yes i shouldnt have really rose to the bait but i really wasnt in the mood to deal with this at the time when it happened. Cheers for the apology although you've failed to point out what exactly is wrong with my life. So no i wont "try to consider som way of enhancin your life". But still if your life comes down to this sort of thing then what are you telling me to get a life for. Never mind this anyway let the matter be at an end.

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