A Smogasbord of Idiots
A Square jawed chump. When he isn’t beating his chest and making low toned grunts, he’s introducing Hollyoaks or trying to flirt with Miquita Oliver on screen. Why don’t I like him? Well what is there to like about the squawking arse.
He seems to have an undeserved sense of being fantastic despite being a subpar example of humanity. I reckon if I met him we would end up having a long conversation – whether me or anyone else wanted to or not – about him, and how great he is, before he starts to flirt with someone’s girlfriend in front of them.
Why hate the man you might ask? Well look at him: he is the perfect example of a grinning tousled tosser. It is depressing that some may see this antagonistic moron as a role model, and really it says much about society’s decline. He appears on T4, which is a fail on one part as it seems to be a breeding ground for annoying posers, and he (or maybe Rick Edwards) is the king of them all in terms of sheer annoyingness. The fact that this pantomime horse, in a Shoreditch hipsters clothing, is seen as being an appropriate face for TV, makes me want to give up on the TV industry and youth itself.
He is a part of what I like to call ‘the Skins fad’ i.e. a group of rambling imbeciles implying that anyone south of the age of 25 is a back talking, immature and fashion conscious nobjock. Really most of us grow out of this faze by age 19 at the latest. However here we have the Peter Pan of attitude, as he will never grow out of this idiotic ADD-like character.
First of all he is a precocious little whelp who needs a good hiding and sending to bed without any supper. He sings about love despite probably not knowing anything about it beyond tired romantic symbolism such as holding hands, roses and chocolates etc. I remember seeing one of his music videos a while back whilst in Cambodia (and believe me one video of his is enough for a lifetime) and honestly believed that he wasn’t being serious. The video was meant to be charming and cute, but it looked like Master Bieber was stalking a woman (way out of his league and seemedly a few years older) and came more across as creepy and staid.
KILL THEM! KILL THEM WITH ACID, AND FIRE THE REMAINS INTO SPACE!