Tuesday, August 31, 2004

GAH! What an annoying Day.

Well as you may have guessed from the title i've had something of a bad day today. Well thats true. Firstly I woke up tired and realised that tommorow I would have to be up and about for this time tommorow. Why because I have to go to France tommorow. I really don't want to go too. The case for going is that the people we are going to be staying with are overall very nice and I get on well with the eldest daughter who is my age. The case against: it takes 5 hours to get to this rented cottage from calais! making the entire journey a Whopping 7 hours!!! Then theres the fact that I know that the second eldest Child who is my brothers age and nearly twice as annoying is going to turn the week into one big fat joke with me as its target. It also requires me to lose 5 days which I could have spent working on a secret plan of mine which has been interfeared in by my family so far and I also would've enjoyed having the house to myself for a while. All in all i'm pissed off about that and there is no chance of me getting off the hook, or at least in a way in which i'm satisfied. Plus I just don't like France very much (picturesque countryside my arse, quaint cottages that look like they were target practise for the Germans during WWII and havent had much renovation since and still have chickens running loose in the yard indeed!?) or the french for that matter (stupid fancy language that I can't understand, and the fact they've never heard of deoderant).

PAh its a complexing problem with no suitible solutions! If someone can come up with a superb plan or at least some kind of teleportation device I would be very grateful (see this is why we should born with the ability to fly)

Monday, August 30, 2004

50 Cent bottles it

Well I'm going to elaborate on the title a bit for those who don't know. 50 Cent world renowned rapper and chav role model (he's been shot 6 time you know so is obviously well 'ard) was pelted with bottles (plus a camping chair at one point) and was forced to end his headlining performance on the main stage of the Reading festival. To be honest I don't feel a great deal of sympathy towards him considering Reading is a rock festival and therefore it is naive and stupid of the booking firm to book a rap artist and not expect trouble. Its not the first time the organisers have made such a blunder as this only 4 years ago they booked an annoying pop duo seldom remembered today who I won't talk about less I stray from the subject too much, subsequently they were pelted with tomatoes and other such vegetables. Silly silly naive fools those orgainisers.

I also got out today (let the joy bells ring muzaltah) I went out to enjoy the fine weather at first with my travelling companion Robert Guest. We later met with my other friends Matt and Tom at Pickhurst Park (which is adjacent to my primary school for you trivia fans out there) Where I was shown that they had found a discarded traffic bollard (you know those blue yellow and white cuboids in the middle of the roads) we hid it so we could later return for it. We then headed from Pickhurst park to Beckenham high street where we saw a film called the Village at Beckenham cinema. All in all it wasnt a bad film, but it has quite a twist at the end. I then treked home and that was the end of my exiting adventure.

I guess I better make the most of these adventures as school starts soon, which will see very little of my free time utilised in the way I would like. Especially if I get a weekend job. Oh well the times they are a'changing.

Sunday, August 29, 2004


As promised in the title i am back and with some stories to tell of what the bugger has been going on in the life of me since i last blogged.
Three days ago I got my GCSE results. I walked into the hall to pick up me results expecting to get about 5 B's at least one A and a D in business studies, Boy was I in for a shock.
Well here is that list of results in total:

Business studies: A!?!?!?!? (HOW THE HELL DID I GET THAT!!!! I CANNA BELIEVE IT!)
English: A
English Litrature: B
Maths: B
Science: AA (I do double science ye see long story)
German: A
GNVQ ICT: Pass (which is essentially a C but its a stupid subject anyway which is far to easy to even be considered as a qualification)

Well I'm still shell-shocked by the results as I did better than I could have ever imagined, but I now worry that I'm becoming a legend in my own mind so I just hope I don't get to complacent.

That aside, as has been well documented by John (Megatrobe) and Dave (Teradud) we all (me Dave John and Baz) went to see I-Robot, and like them I agree that Critics are being very fickle giving this Film a bad review, I mean if you look past the cliched story and the fact that it borrows some idea from Terminator trilogy its a good film and it makes machines look more human at some points (something that the Terminator films certainly didn't do), pah film critics and their overcritical opinions, and thats one of the careers I'm considering in my future (Watch this space).

Also I recently got a new mobile phone (NOOOO THE CHAV IS STRONG IN THIS ONE!) which I think is very nice, it has a camara (always useful hehehehehehe) and MP3 ringtones which I have already customised, so I now have Dr Zaius as my ringtone (heheheehe). Don't worry though as I'm not making some sort of hideous transformation into a chav, I still have a violent hatred of all chav kind! And the day burberry caps and shell suits make it into my wardrobe is the day i turn into a rasberry and get eaten by Lucy in the sky (with diamonds). That aside too I think i might be going frog side this week (noooo not the frogs) to britanny to be precise. The catch is I know its going to be disasterous. We (me and my family) are going to be spending the days with my dads best friend and his children (one girl two boys) but I know that their second born, who's my brothers age, will make the usual stress i suffer from that brotherly spats even greater considering he gets no end of entertainment from making my brother laugh (not difficult to do at all I mean you can make the fool the laugh by saying "fat" in a funny voice and there're both 14!?) so basically its gonna be one long fat joke all week long with me being the butt of that joke. For christ sake I know im overweight by most standards but I'm NO RICK WALLER!
Well even that aside School starts soon NOOOO! but it starts even sooner for my brother who has a everlasting hate of school muahahaahahaah

Well that was entertaining I would Blog more If my idiot of a brother got off the computer more and got out with his friends (who he never speaks about but assures me that he's got more than me, ha!) and then says I should spend less time on the computer, pah what does that fool know.
CHAV Music Just keeps getting worse goddam' it!

Hello children the focus of today's second blog! (how do I do it?) is How Chav music is, well, still pissing me off, but now those evil chavs in the music industry have found another way to influence music with chav culture. I'm talking about those terrible songs which are accompanied by an answer in another song. To elaborate on this further I will use an example: Earlier this year an American chav called Eamon (American as apple pie eh?) got dumped by his girlfriend Frankee (bloody Americans can't spell, like most English chavs really), instead of dealing with the break up like any normal man he instead makes a song about how its her fault they broke up and I think you get the idea of this tone by the name of the song "Fuck you I don't want you back" you've probably heard of that. As if people (well me) didn't care before, the afore mentioned Frankee makes a reply song called "Fuji you right back", both these songs reached Number one in the UK charts at least once, the latter remained at No 1 for a number of weeks if memory serves. What makes this worse is the stupid bint uses the same music tempo and rhyme scheme for her song so it is essentially the same song but with different lyrics sung by a woman. All in all both songs seem to define chav culture completely what with the "dissing" of each other over each song. The worst thing is they are bringing a relationship I didn't care about before (nor was I aware of) into the domain, I mean who the hell gives a damn about their relationship and subsequent break-up.
I have recently noticed another couple following suit which is what has prompted to blog about this tomfoolery.
Mario Winans wrote a song about his relationship break up although to be fair to this man he is a renowned artist although I'm not very keen on his music and his song is a lot less Bitchy than Eamon and Frankee but who I'm assuming is his ex-girlfriend has made a song which has, wait for it, the same music tempo etc and is shockingly similar which seems to be the reply to his song, once again WHO CARES!!!! I don't give a damn about someone I don't knows relationship with someone. Can't these idiotic women who are trying to almost make a point by "bitching" about how their ex-boyfriends are bad in bed etc and seem to be making some sort of feministic point that women can look to when they are feeling oppressed etc. Not only that these stupid women also will have to pay a large percentage of their royalties to their male counterparts, Yeah they really showed them!
I don't understand it really. Stupid capitalist chavs.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

The Best Laid plans O Mice and Dave GET MESSED UP! DAMN IT!

Once again chums i feel the time has come for a small blog. Recently all my almightly plans to go out and do something have been failing somewhat spectacularly. Its all frustrating really as it always leaves me doing nothing all day which leads to complaints from my dad all day and i get the constant anecdote about how he was out all day on his bike and how he rode once from clapham to croydon one day (or something). Oh well I guess i'll just have to keep trying.