Is the world crazy or am I?

To try something a bit different - also a gimmick can be fun every now and again- I have written this short blog entirely on a tablet. A Google Nexus 7 to be precise (There's your plug for this blog Google). This is also a bit of an experiment to see how easy the process is before I set off on a new adventure entirely - more on that later. This will involve a whole host of new blogs, hopefully using this handy tool. As far as first impressions go, using a tablet to write with is easy than it would appear. Don't get me wrong, it does feel slightly alien and I think it may yet take some getting used to but its not too time consuming during the first attempt and is aided greatly by quite intuitive predictive text. So in conclusion, writing on a tablet is possible even for a clumsy handed fool like me, but may take  few attempts before it stops feeling weird.

*Disclaimer: If you haven’t already guessed David is not a very positive person. He is not able to just sit back and enjoy things and finds ways of needling criticism out of even the nicer elements of the world. He has come to terms with this and admits this is curse and not a blessing. If the following offends you please don’t read it.* I found myself watching Surprise Surprise the other day - another sign that ITV has given up on innovation entirely and is desperately trying to turn back to more prosperous times in the early 90s (funnily enough when advertising revenues for TV had no competition from the internet). For those of you who have never sat down to watch it before, it’s very simple TV. Unsuspecting do-gooding members of the audience are taken by ‘surprise’ and rewarded for their positive work in the community. It’s got a nicey wicey tone, is presented by the cuddly auntie-like Holly Willoby (I’ve been giving her a lot of stick in the last couple of posts, it’s not inte...

This is my serious face Paedophila has become a very hot issue again, as the allegations squared at Jimmy Saville threaten to open up another Paedogeddon . In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if we were close to appointing a Paedofinder General . However, for the first time the child abuse finger pointing has now reached the government. This came to the fore today for the Prime Minister David Cameron, who during a surreal ‘gotcha’ moment on the cosy daytime TV favourite This Morning - fronted by doddering uncle-like Philip Scofield and dippy auntie-like Holly Willoby - was presented with a list of suspected Tory paedophiles. Not even Paxman pulls those kind of punches. Obviously, the PM wasn't too pleased with this sudden attempt at guerrilla journalism. He probably came on the show thinking that the worst case scenario would be that the runners wouldn't get the biscuits he liked. His response to the question was interesting given he had little time to prepare a res...

I'm just going to say this: May the Force have mercy on all our souls. The sad fact is this is the second time I've accidentally predicted a new film (which I didn't think would ACTUALLY be made) which has then subsequently been produced . First Yogi Bear and now this....

Every year I contemplate not buying the new Formula One game. Yes, I am a F1 fanboy but I always wonder if I’m slowly accumulating a collection of games with last year’s models that I won’t play once the new season edition arrives. Do you ever wish they would just release a basic definitive game and then just release updates every year with new cars, drivers et cetera?  (If anyone in the games industry is reading this then please consider it. I’m running out of room on my games shelf.) I doubt it will happen given the massive success of yearly FIFA titles but it’s a thought. So, what does F1 2012 have to offer to racing fans? To start with you are introduced to the gameplay and feel of the car with Young Driver Test mode. Now, whilst this is a nice edition to newcomers and people getting to grips with the handling changes from 2011, it does feel slightly patronizing. "You can drive a real F1 car only when you prove you are responsible!" You buy a new game with th...

You may remember I threw a bit of a hissy fit the last time a new episode of Red Dwarf hit our screens. Back to Earth was nothing less than self-indulgent meta-humour, although its greatest crime was that it really wasn’t that funny. Thankfully, the newly revived series Red Dwarf X has been a relative breath of fresh air. The boys from the Dwarf are back and, despite the odd wrinkle, it’s as if they’ve never been away. Much of the first episode Trojan felt right and on form. Rimmer is as dorky (his new life slogan is "Hey ho pip and dandy!"),  weasley and resentful as ever, to the point that he even crashes his holographic hard drive due to a huge bitterness data jam. Lister is still meandering pointlessly through life, filling it with whatever distractions he can – in this case spending a majority of the episode impatiently on hold to a phone-in shopping channel. Kryten still appears to be on 24 hour wipe alert and The Cat is still screeching around the ship and ge...

The debate surrounding abortion has again been appearing in the news. Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has openly stated that he believes that abortions should no longer be carried out after 12 weeks of gestation (instead of the current 24); although the government has been quick to point out that there are no intended policy changes. Obviously this has awoken voices on both sides of the pro-life and pro-choice fence and as usual the pro-life crowd are using it to try to use it to hammer home the message that any abortion is wrong, no matter whether it was within the 24 week allocation. This argument I always find somewhat jarring and I shall explain why in detail. Let me nail my flag to the cross right now. I am pro-abortion. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t a nice way to go about birth control (nor might I add should it be anything but a last resort) but it is a necessary evil in a world where we have mastered nature and face a very worrying future of over-population. To state it bluntl...

There's an explosion of sport this summer and at the moment it's currently football's turn to hold the spotlight with the Euro 2012 championships. To tell you the truth, International tournaments are one of the few times I take an interest in football - the rest of the time it seems over hyped. But at least when the Euros or the World Cup comes about I pretend at least to understand football. There's a joke involving light bulbs in here somewhere... It's not always easy to support the England team though. The players themselves are mostly a bit bland and at worst the kind of attack dogs you'd like to set loose in the House of Commons. That would be acceptable if they played interesting football but sometimes the matches can seem to last an eternity. There are occasional flashes of brilliance but it often fades very quickly and all too frequently everyone seems to latch their hopes onto one player ( a look at the number of column inches dedicated to him to...

As many of you have noticed there is a new kid on the block when it comes to talking dogs. Joining the hallowed prestige, alongside the likes of Scooby Doo and Goofy, is Alan the Walls Sausages dog. "Alwight! I'm here to save you blokes from yourselves." Alan is best described as a cross between Droopy and Mike Skinner from the Streets. He brings an interesting, if blunt, message that men love sausages to the point of emotional speechlessness. Our new friend takes on the tricky role of expressing male emotions when sausages are served for dinner. As the blokey receivers of the meaty feast puff their faces up with tears and joy, Alan springs into action and saves the day with a rap .   I suppose it is at the other end of the emotional scale to when men become hyperactive with joy when confronted with a room full of beer . Sausages are obviously associated with more stoic male emotions (possibly proving a lot of extreme feminist theories true in the process). ...

After a lengthy hiatus I've come back to blogging and have decided to make a few changes. First of all I feel a new title was due as the blog has always been an outlet for my own frustrations in day-to-day life, so I thought the name "Is the world Crazy or am I?" encapsulated that well. It also makes it a little less personal in some ways, after all does anyone care what Dave thinks? The answer to that is probably no, followed by the obvious questions: Who is Dave and why should I care? Also I reckon this name makes the blog feel a little more "bloggy" too. I've also decided to play around a bit with the design (not least because my day-to-day job seems to have me fiddling with HTML and I fancied a bit of a challenge). It's far from complete but it does look an awful lot better than the tired design of old. Is the content of the blog going to change? Well... probably not. I remain as unfocused and confused with my life as ever so I don't see wh...

David Cameron is known for his political hyperbole and love of the soundbite but his comment today that UK film needs to be more mainstream had me worried. The big chief himself is turning his eye towards an industry he has little to no understanding of and also one that I happen to like. Worse still here he was making misguided and poorly thought out generalisations about it. It is hardly a secret that it is notoriously hard to tell what film productions will turn a profit. Many Hollywood films make spectacular losses despite the mainstream appeal. I’m far from the only one to be riled by the PM’s comments, veteran indy film-maker Ken Loach has vociferously argued against the idea and the twittersphere has exploded with suggestions of Cameron themed film names as a result. Let’s make no mistake - the Conservative government has had it in for the arts since they got their hands on the country. Jeremy Hunt the culture secretary has been hacking away at the BBC for the past ye...

The boys often compete against each other. This battle is to see who can be the biggest windswept douche I really didn’t know what to think about the Fabulous Baker Brothers. At first I was a little dismayed that here was yet another cooking show; one that no one asked for and worse, one that didn’t bring anything new or exciting to the table. We’ve seen it all before, a chef or two hovering around a perfectionist’s cavernous kitchen that you could never in your life afford. That’s right look at the beautiful and fashionable kitchen and weep. Look at the delicious food they’re making in it! You could never cook that, unless of course you watch every week, check the website, buy the book and then maybe after a couple of decades you could make something minutely close to this. You really are rubbish without this show! So, what is (or should that be ‘are’) the Fabulous Baker Brothers. The first impression is that the females of Britain now have their own Nigella Lawson-style food ...

The final Simpsons episode ever was more cataclysmic than many were expecting 2011 has been a very surreal year with riots, royal weddings, major celebrity deaths and phone hacking filling the headlines. But with 2011 now in its dying days what can we expect from the next 12 months? Here are the things I am hoping will happen next year: A member of the Royal Family gets a pie in the face during the Diamond Jubilee: You might infer from this that I am anti-royal. That’s not quite true, I consider myself more of an agnostic when it comes to the royal family. I’m not a flag waving patriot, nor am I an angry David Icke-like person who claims that they are actually lizard people stealing all our taxes. Despite not wishing the family ill I still think it would be quite funny to see one of them getting a pie in the face as it would lend a bit of fun to an otherwise somber and stuffy event. Heston’s Cannibal Feast: Heston Blumenthal is known for cooking up the wackiest feasts, b...

There are a lot of sequels coming out at the moment. This year alone we’ve seen a third Transformers movie, another Chipmunks flick and a further Mission Impossible outing. There’s also a second, Independence Day in the works as well as further Terminator and Die Hard films too. It’s clear to see unnecessary sequels to well established film franchises are the vogue at the moment. However, it’s hard to say who asked for them? Whilst it could be argued that this is a further symptom of Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy, what else could we expect to see coming up? Here are a few predictions with accompanying synopsis: Turner and Hooch 2 A long overdue second part to the much loved 80s buddy movie. Tom Hanks reprises his role as compulsive police detective Scott Turner and is joined by Hooch’s now fully grown puppy, Hooch 2. Turner is enjoying married life when he and Hooch are called to investigate a sinister animal testing experiment ring. In a bungled raid Hooch is turned into...

I’ve given up suspending disbelief. I just don’t believe anything in the world anymore. I’ve given up full stop. I thought by my mid-twenties I’d be settled in my belief in my own existence and the existence of everything around me but I can’t keep up the charade anymore. Let’s be fair we live in a time when many anchors we hold true are being unraveled completely. Look at the economy for example. We spent years trusting that the well-to-do gents who went to town every day in their suit and finery had a good idea of what they were doing, but of course as it transpires, they’re as clueless about the magic numbers that are imagined in the stock markets as everyone else. Perhaps even more so! Whilst banker bashing is like shooting fish in a barrel, I’ve become a disbeliever of nearly everything else. Like Greenland for example, is it really there or just an elaborate prank played on the rest of the world by the Danish? Let’s be honest no-one really lives there, so is it just the case ...

Heeey Kids! It's time to meet your new best pals. Presenters come in all shapes and sizes and act in many different ways, from the doddering decrepit old-time entertainment provided by Bruce Forsythe, to the obnoxious red faced ranting of Adam Bolton on Sky News. Then you get T4 presenters, who are a weird bunch. As I’ve probably made clear from my past scribbles I don’t really like them. I find them loud annoying and in-your-face (which to be fair, is probably part of their job description). But they persist year after year, coming in as fresh-faced failed radio presenters or models heavily draped in Top Shop’s latest rags, until they are metaphorically euthanized from the line-up at age 24 like an old incontinent farm hound, with an uncertain future of bit-part presenting jobs like the X-tra Factor or popular entertainment oblivion. After all look what happened to Alex Zane after he was put out to pasture. Now he struts around an empty studio, in a suit that is far too sm...

Today I felt like doing something a bit different. Now I’m a big fan of action movies and especially love the cheesier variety of this genre, like the Expendables or Snakes on a Plane. As a result I’ve decided to write my own screen play but in bullet point form, allowing me to quickly layout a plot and/or easily make any modifications to the story. The title for this is going to be Rick Generic Blows Up Stuff. Now, why such a crass name you may be wondering? Well quite frankly I feel it goes with the territory and why spend ages skirting round the issue of what the movie is. With this title you get exactly what it says on the tin and know who it’s featuring. Now our hero is a chap by the name of Rick Generic. He’s called Rick because it’s a stereotypically dynamic sounding name and Generic is an obvious nod to what this whole premise is; a stupidly self-conscious attempt to deconstruct the Hollywood code for an action film. So let’s get started: To set the scene Rick Generic i...

Going to a university which was and still is used as the setting for a flagship British sci-fi series takes getting used to, especially if you’re a fan of said show. Cardiff University's new vice chancellor was more right wing than his predecessor Now I’m talking about Doctor Who and Cardiff primarily and as a former student of the University there (Cardiff University not UWIC for any pedants out there) it’s been an odd experience seeing places I recognise mocked up as a historical locations since leaving. If nothing else it spoils the suspension of disbelief. The case in point came when the first new episode since June was shown – the catchily titled “Let’s Kill Hitler”. Of course this required the eccentric Time Lord and his chums to visit Nazi Berlin, or as I saw it, my old university buildings draped in Nazi regalia. The most ironic fact of all this was in one of the same buildings now “ Nazified” as Hitler's headquarters for the purposes of sci-fi is actually named the...

I did attempt to write something on the rioting in London this time last week and well, we all know what happened then. I ended up having to completely re-revise my view whilst glued to the insane fiery scenes taking place in Croydon not more than 20 minutes away from my home.    I couldn’t begin to start explaining what caused the violence and I think it would be incredibly short sighted to claim that there is one overarching reason. One thing that does seem certain is that the riots were not really a political statement.  Reeves Corner believe it or not was not the center of Croydon’s intelligentsia or political scene, nor was it a symbol of police power.   No, it was just a humble family-owned furniture shop and was unnecessarily gutted by idiots caught up in the thrill of a riot. I might have at least understood the reasoning behind it all if a significant government building had been set on fire (I’m not suggesting people do that either I might add), but ...

  Was anyone surprised that the News of the World could stoop so low, as it was revealed this week that the newspaper hacked into the mobile phone of murder victim Milly Dowler and deleted voice mail messages from concerned friends and family? The hacks have done it again, but this time the very righteous indignation and powerful human emotion they harnessed to sell thousands of papers has been blown back in their faces in a perfect storm of disgruntlement and blind outrage. The murder of Milly Dowler was a major case when it occurred and stirred-up public emotion no end. However, the sadness has now become anger and that anger has been aimed squarely at the News of The World and its former editor Rebekah Brooks. Now, Brooks does not have the best ethical track record in the business it must be said. She is a formidable women who when she wasn’t baiting the public with campaigns to lynch suspected paedophiles on a national scale ( leading to innocent casualties ), spent her...