Monday, December 05, 2011

Film sequels that should never be

There are a lot of sequels coming out at the moment. This year alone we’ve seen a third Transformers movie, another Chipmunks flick and a further Mission Impossible outing. There’s also a second, Independence Day in the works as well as further Terminator and Die Hard films too. It’s clear to see unnecessary sequels to well established film franchises are the vogue at the moment. However, it’s hard to say who asked for them?

Whilst it could be argued that this is a further symptom of Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy, what else could we expect to see coming up?

Here are a few predictions with accompanying synopsis:

Turner and Hooch 2

A long overdue second part to the much loved 80s buddy movie. Tom Hanks reprises his role as compulsive police detective Scott Turner and is joined by Hooch’s now fully grown puppy, Hooch 2. Turner is enjoying married life when he and Hooch are called to investigate a sinister animal testing experiment ring. In a bungled raid Hooch is turned into a human from the scientific equipment in the lab and Turner is forced to get to grips with his newly humanized sidekick who thinks and acts like a dog.

Sex and the City 3

Carrie is once again dissatisfied with her dull businessman husband and decided to go on a fashion road show in Europe with her 3 BBFs the ginger one, the prudish one and the old one. During the tour, each of the girls questions monogamy as they are tempted by a group of statuesque male models. All while cackling away, shopping for shoes, drinking copious amounts of cosmopolitans and making stereotypical semi-racist comments about the locals. *Warning* contains full-frontal images of Sarah Jessica Parker’s face.

Yogi Bear 2

Dan Akaroyd is back as the Pick-a-nik basket loving bear. Yogi and Boo Boo’s friendship is put to the ultimate test as they both fall for the same lady bear. This is set against the backdrop of a major conflict between the USA and Denmark, in which Yogi is made to come to terms with his love rivalry with Boo Boo, whilst preparing for his impending draft into the US navy.

Taxi Driver 2 – Who’s looking at who now?

30 years on from his bloody rampage though the cesspits of New York; Travis Bickle is still driving his yellow cab. However, after investing all his savings in Lehman Brothers shares, Travis loses everything during the 2008 financial scandal. To prevent the bank from repossessing his cab, he is forced to compete in New York’s most dangerous death race. Also featuring Christopher Walken.

Home Alone 5

Kevin McAllister, now 30 and recently divorced, finds himself Home Alone yet again. Although this time his enemy is not a couple of comical burglars; it’s himself, as he battles the twin evils of drink and depression.

Uncle Buck 2

Inexplicable sequel starring Kevin James, as Buck is once again called upon to babysit his nephew and nieces. This time hilarity ensues as he tries to make a success of his new dog track bought using a large mafia loan. Buck is left to juggle the twin responsibilities of his nephews and nieces' well-being, with trying to raise enough money to keep his legs unbroken.

Star Wars Episode 7

Just no!
(Note: Unfortunately it would turn out later that this was to become a reality http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-20150195)


God willing, none of these films will never be made. Then again, stranger things have happened and I was right about my prediction of a live action CGI Yogi Bear movie.

No comments: