Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Saying it with sausages

As many of you have noticed there is a new kid on the block when it comes to talking dogs. Joining the hallowed prestige, alongside the likes of Scooby Doo and Goofy, is Alan the Walls Sausages dog.

"Alwight! I'm here to save you blokes from yourselves."

Alan is best described as a cross between Droopy and Mike Skinner from the Streets. He brings an interesting, if blunt, message that men love sausages to the point of emotional speechlessness.

Our new friend takes on the tricky role of expressing male emotions when sausages are served for dinner. As the blokey receivers of the meaty feast puff their faces up with tears and joy, Alan springs into action and saves the day with a rap.  

I suppose it is at the other end of the emotional scale to when men become hyperactive with joy when confronted with a room full of beer. Sausages are obviously associated with more stoic male emotions (possibly proving a lot of extreme feminist theories true in the process).

Perhaps I'm just coming to terms with my own identity - I'm just a bloke really after all - but I was left asking myself: is that it? Stick a plate of meat in front of us and we well up with emotional inarticulacy; assuming of course we had any articulacy to begin with. Is that what masculinity boils down to? Perhaps it's sad fact we don't have handy helper like Alan in real life? It would at least save the embarrassment of having to express ourselves by blubbing into a bacon sandwich once in a while.

In all fairness women haven't had the best portrayal in adverts (this is an intentional understatement before anyone gets overexcited) over the years, to the point that some are laughable when viewed today. Maybe it's man's turn to receive this belittling treatment. WKD certainly set a high watermark with their sketches about bantering pricks.

Is it just me or does anyone else miss the dog who used to infuriate his master by saying 'Walls' instead of 'sausages'? It involves less reflexivity about my identity our identities as men for sure.

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