The bulletpoint movie, or Rick Generic blows up stuff
The title for this is going to be Rick Generic Blows Up Stuff. Now, why such a crass name you may be wondering? Well quite frankly I feel it goes with the territory and why spend ages skirting round the issue of what the movie is. With this title you get exactly what it says on the tin and know who it’s featuring.
Now our hero is a chap by the name of Rick Generic. He’s called Rick because it’s a stereotypically dynamic sounding name and Generic is an obvious nod to what this whole premise is; a stupidly self-conscious attempt to deconstruct the Hollywood code for an action film.
So let’s get started:
To set the scene Rick Generic is a former special ops Navy Seal (or another oft seen branch of the US special forces) He’s living on his idyllic farm in Minnasota with his lovely wife Miranda and his 8 year old son Skip. He’s happy in retirement and has left his violent past behind, or so he thinks…
· Rick is visited by his old buddy in arms Hanson (who is soon to retire from the forces) & his pregnant wife Julia.
· Hanson implores that Rick come back to do one last mission, to take down an old enemy of theirs Henry Magnum – a notable drugs/arms/contraband ringleader/ industrialist.
· Rick of course refuses, feeling that his family could be in danger if he gets involved.
· Hanson isn’t pleased with the news but warns his family could be in danger anyway. They part and bump fists.
· Shortly after specially trained mercenaries break into the farm and kidnap Miranda and Skip. They also shoot dead his dog “Freedom” and the farm’s corn silo is blown up in the ensuing chaos.
· Realising Magnum is to blame, he swears revenge and calls up Hanson to save his family.
· Using their old contacts in the forces they locate Magnum’s base, which is on a small island in the Indian Ocean.
· Hanson and Rick head to a seedy bar, where Magnum’s drug/arms dealers operate out of to find out more details about the villains plans. Naturally there is a bar fight over someone taking exception to the two newcomers.
· Rick and Hanson chase after one of Magnum’s heavies, who gets in a sports car and drives off. Hanson and Rick pursue.
· A car chase takes place wherein stuff is smashed, people are nearly run over and stuff gets blown up.
· Rick and Hanson capture the man and start to interrogate him using crude makeshift torture tools. The man is about to talk when Magnum – who monitors all his men via implanted chips- remotely activates a chip in his brain that wipes his memory. The man is left brain-dead. Rick punches a nearby mirror in his rage (first of all going to some effort to actually find a mirror in the room).
· Rick is then called by Gadget (an ops friend) who explains more of the Magnum’s plan, revealing that the villain’s island has an extensive security system they’ll need to deactivate first if they want to gain access. Hanson swears and Rick punches another breakable object within reach.
· The code key to turn off the system is held by Magnum’s right hand man Chimp. He happens to be off the island on a bender amongst the bars of South Africa.
· Rick and Hanson hurry to Cape Town.
· Meanwhile on Magnum’s island Henry taunts Rick’s family, who are adamant he is coming to save them. Skip makes several references to how great his dad is. Magnum laughs heavily at both of them whilst smoking numerous cigars and punching a cat to death.
· Magnum reveals that he plans to start selling a new drug that is so addictive that after one hit you are so dependent on it that not taking it can kill you.
· Miranda and Skip insist he won’t get away with it. Magnum laughs heartily and shoots a parrot.
That about does it for a start, hopefully I’ll be able to keep committed to this so that I can develop it further. Whether I do or not is now down to fate and how disciplined I remain.