The White Terror!

Lock your doors! Get the Kids inside! Horde enough food to last for next two weeks! IT’S COMING! Or more to the point it’s here! I am of course talking about the sudden and ‘terrifying’ onset of snow that has hit our country.

Given the way that our country reacts to snow you’d think that something cataclysmic had happened, as much of our transport network shuts down, people in isolated communities become stranded and/or their power goes out. And if I look carefully out my window I think I see the four horsemen of the apocalypse, riding atop a particularly full looking snow cloud. Yes, we go absolutely bananas when it snows, as we seem to have forgotten that our country is in the northern hemisphere and is kind of prone to this kind of weather. Instead it seems, we cower at our windows, pointing and screaming: “WHAT IS IT!!” before passing out from the stress.

True, getting snow these days is rarer than it used to be and is nothing like the type seen by our parents, when it used to literally form 4 foot high drifts; sometimes stopping people from even opening their doors. But somehow they pushed on without the government preparing the emergency broadcasting system and urging us all to repent before it’s too late! It’s also true that snow can easily cause transport chaos, as I found out firsthand the other day as we drove home from my grandmothers 20 minutes away, only to run into another heavy flurry of snow. Next thing we knew, roads seemed to be closing left, right and centre and the traffic slowed to a halt that only seemed to budge once every half hour. What should have taken 20 minutes ended up taking the best part of 2 hours!

It seems insane that we get completely flummoxed by a bit of snow, especially when you consider that countries like Sweden and Finland cope with heaps of snow every year. Sure they have contingencies in place as it is pretty certain to snow each year in that part of Europe, and we seem to forget that you need more than one 20 year old grit lorry to keep everything running should it somehow snow. If we got snow on the scale that they do, given our current reaction to the weather, we’d end up regressing to a primal stage of humanity, caving each other’s heads in with sticks and preying to the snow god for forgiveness.

Merry Christmas. That is if we survive the white judgement!


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