Christmas time is coming. In fact it’s actually here now, on our doorstep; cap in hand; demanding good cheer, presents, and over indulgence, whilst conjuring the persistent image of Father Christmas holding a gun against our heads. That’s it cheer up! There may be a recession on, society might be in freefall, but we’ll be damned if there are any scrooges about to spoil the exuberance! Now say Ho ho ho merry Christmas, or kiss goodbye to your brains!
I’m joking of course. Christmas doesn’t have to be chore. As a matter of fact it is a right old laugh really. It’s the time of year where you can get together with family (and then realise precisely why we spend most of the year avoiding them), over-eat to our hearts content (something close to my heart anyway), and generally just make light of the dreary, cold weather that comes with this time of year by putting up tinselly and festive decorations.
Still it comes quicker every year, to overuse the old cliché. But cliché or not, it really does come about sooner each year. I don’t know if it’s my perception of time speeding up with age, or if the shops are just trying to try and get people in the mood sooner (I saw the first Christmas items in supermarkets in September this year!) but there is no shaking the fact it is now Christmas time. Why? Because the Coke advert (featuring the lit up lorries, backed up by carol singers chanting “Holidays are coming”. Delivering their capitalist wet dream of Christmas to your doorstep since 1989 - approx) came on TV yesterday and as many of you in my generation know, that means it is now officially Christmas.
It’s just one of those markers of nature, like the first lambs of spring, or the first orange leaves of autumn. Although whilst the advert is whimsical and magical, it’s also a little unsettling. I could see the rhythmic chanting of “holidays are coming” haunting people’s nightmares, as the voices hypnotically remind you that presents are a measure of love, and that you really do fancy a coke right now. With the poor economic climate it becomes more sinister than ever. Still as I said before, I can forgive it as it’s so engrained into my childhood memories of Christmas the blatent coercion is redeemable. And you know what I really am thirsty. You know what I need, that’s right, a coke! Merry Cokemas to all and to all a good night.