Just because you can doesn't mean you have to
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I'm guilty of this too as much as anyone but with the constant stream of human interest click bait on social media about spectacular if somewhat useless achievements coupled with the fear of missing out (FOMO); seems to create an attitude that makes people guilty for not achieving something they never wanted to anyway.
I don't think this is necessarily a new phenomenon, people have been chiding themselves for not doing things they feel they should be doing for social appearances for generations. Many of us were forced to do such activities by our parents in a well meaning but ultimately misguided attempt to socialise us into society with a skill we either didn't want or need, before completely abandoning the practice once we get out of the family home or reach adulthood.
However, with trends being trends and impressive or difficult tasks always drawing people's attention and, somehow, their envy we keep doing them.
The ultimate goal of the following list of things you can potentially do but maybe don't have to is ultimately a positive one. That is: You can do anything. However, maybe you don't need to feel like you need to if you don't want to. In all likelihood you'll probably find something equally pointless, time consuming but personally fulfilling for you to do.
Here are 10 things you could do, but you probably don't need to feel like you have to:
Learning the flute (or any musical instrument for that matter)
I once went to school with someone who learned the flute. He was very good at it to say the least and he's now a professional musician I think. He's a person who should have learned the flute, as he clearly had a passion for it. If it's something you're thinking about because you think it would improve your social standing or because you're always telling yourself you think that you should then don't. Just don't.
Running a Marathon (or longer)
A big one on the FOMO spectrum that pretty much everyone seems to do now and honestly the preparation sounds awful. I also wonder if the fact it's now so common (seemingly) for people to run marathons that it now feels like it's lost its air of mystery and that "what if?" factor and has become a an expectation of a 20-40 something adult, which disincentives it further.Running a charity 10k
If you know someone who is doing this for a good cause by all mean support them and enjoy the deluge of smiling, laughing photos and goal updates that will inundate your social media feeds for the next few months. Good causes are good. If the person believes in supporting a charity for personal reasons those reasons are good. However, if you're me and you have every reason to do one of these 10ks for cancer, heart disease, mental health, diabetes or dementia charities (it'll be fun finding out which combination of these destroy my health later in life) and still haven't it's likely you probably won't.
The ice bucket challenge (or similar)
I feel infinitely lucky that during the ice bucket challenge that either my group of friends is what it is or I've become so unapproachable over time that I was never once nominated to do this. Not that it would have meant much as I've become quite passive to social media nominations (see also: dares). If you want to tip ice on your head do it because you want to. Also, you can still not do it and give to charity if you want. As with the others, you can do it but you really don't have to.Spending 6 or more months travelling
I've actually done this one and when I tell people about it everyone always says, "oooh I'd love to do that," (see also: Living abroad) and I always ask them why they don't, which is normally met with excuses about work and the like. Now obviously, if you have the money and want to do it then why wait but if you don't, then you don't have to excuse yourself for not doing it. You really have to be in the mindset for it and doing travel for numerous months can be a real pain at times. Even I can't be bothered with staying in hostel dorms anymore, so I'm judging no one on this if they don't feel like doing it.
Learning a language
Look, learning a language to a good level is not fun quite frankly. I've spent four+ years living and working in a Spanish speaking country and despite daily exposure, weekly classes and professional use of the language, not to mention experience in the teaching of English as foreign language, I can tell you it is time consuming and difficult as a process. It doesn't mean you shouldn't learn languages, unless you really want to or need to. If you're a Francophile then learn French. If you love Japanese culture then learn Japanese. If you need a language to progress in your career then learn it! To be clear I've only reached an intermediate level in Spanish because it's just the most practical thing to do in my case, not to mention culturally appropriate (Although I will probably never learn Catalan).
Going to university
I really liked going to university and I would say it was totally the right call for me and I wouldn't have done things differently. However, I think for the longest time it was taught to people that they MUST go to university, which is wrong. This isn't helped by employers lazily insisting on degrees for jobs that really don't need it. However, if you're sure academia or further education isn't for you then you're definitely better off just leaving school and getting whatever work you can after that rather than getting bogged down in ridiculous levels of debt and wasting three years.Basically anything in the Guinness Book of records
They'll put pretty much any record in that book to be fair. At this point all the easy to do stupid records have probably been broken, so it's only going to take a task so monotonous, complicated or disgusting to get in. You have to question at that point if your time couldn't be better spent on something else.
Writing a blog
I actually think the one consistent goal I ever had was to become a writer of some sort which eventually I have become. I think it's testament to that I've been writing on the same (albeit rubbish Blogger) domain since about 2004. However, I'm endlessly confused as to why I'd want to spend my spare time doing it for free. I guess that's my madness. However, just because lots of people do it doesn't mean you should.Having Children
This is probably the number one thing on the list that LOTS of people really feel they HAVE to do but maybe wouldn't on consideration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, "unique experience", "you don't know love until you've had kids", "my parents won't stop asking me about it" etc are all factors that go through people's minds. However, are you really sure you want that? Are you sure you want to deal with a loud, unsocialised, irritating psychopathic money sink for all those years. If you're doing it to stave off lonliness or for care when you're old in modern society then I think that's pretty dark, as you're creating a living consciousness which may not necessarily enjoy the treadmill of school, debt, work and just sheer confusing emotional mess that life entails. Especially when you realise early on the walking talking amalgamation of your cells doesn't want to do ANYTHING you want to do and wants/probably needs 90% of your attention AT ALL TIMES. There's also no time off from that for any of you for more than a decade. After all that, the ungrateful brat will probably just ignore you half the time when it has become company you might want to spend time with. If you're willing to go through all that then do it but you have to REALLY have your heart in it (I've also not talked about how terrible pregnancy sounds but I don't have a womb so I'm not really an expert).So these are the things that people often convince themselves that they need to do to be complete or happy. Is it all just a waste of time to distract you from the inevitable or your steps towards self actualisation, or both?
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